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so i do not know who actually still reads these things, but
here is the deal. i just want to type out some thoughts, ideas, maybe
frustrations and whatever just to releave some stress or
whatever....anyway. since it has been quite some time since i last posted
i will catch everyone up. i currently have a girlfriend who is probably
the greatest thing the good lord has blessed me with! she is a phenominal woman
of God and truely makes me a better person when i am with her....we have been
together for roughly over 7 months and things are really
great!....however...this leads to probably one of the most difficult things for
me to deal with....she is spending the summer in westcliffe, colorado......that
is far away from indianapolis, indiana....which is where i currently am....i am
the jr high intern for a year and usually that would be a piece of cake...but
the jr high pastor has left to take another ministry in missouri. which
is good and fine, but i will miss that guys a TON and will be without the specific mentorship that i wanted....so...that being said.....it sucks being so far away....plus we can't get a good phone conversation where she isn't distracted by all the chaos of having to be around everyone or the call is dropped after 2 min of talking on 1 bar signal....it takes one of us 3 times to tell one story for the other person to fill in the blanks and understand the story.....it sucks....plus they shut down the internet or something and she doesn't really have access to a computer...plus....they do not have a land line that isn't in an office or a kitchen....so phone cards are out of the question....ugh....it just sucks that we can't really communicate affectively when communication is such a huge part or what makes a long distance relationship work.....i am going to do evertything i can to make this work....i just want to be with her....i am also not real thrilled about her working with a bunch of other guys whe don't know me and would care less if they tried to take her away from me.....but that is not a huge concern.....just something that is always in the back of my mind ya know?....so....my final word is that my lord and savior is in control of this and that is the best place it can be....i am just struggling to find the peace in all of that. i know it is true and i will continue to trust in him as completely as i can....i miss my girlfriend......ok....im done.....peace out everybody!!!!
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| How are we going to get a life that has no lust, no self-interest, and is not sensititve to the ridicule of others? How will we have the type of love that "is kind...is not provoked, and thinks no evil"? The only way is by allowing nothing of the old life to remain, and by having only simple, perfect trust in God - such a trust that we no longer want God's blessings, but only want God Himself. Have we come to the point where God can withdraw His blessings from us without our trust in Him being affected? Once we truly see God at work, we will never be concerned againabout the things that happen, because we are actually trusting in our Father in heaven, whom the world cannot see.
just part of my devo this morning that i thought was worthy of others seein too. have an amazing day!
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| in kow everyone is wondering how i have been doing...so here goes....first this is the latest i have stayed up this year...crazy i know....4am night used to be the time when i was most at home, but now i find myself steadily slowing down way faster than i want to....sleep is good....and i have been doing a lot better on that front....so i suppose that shows how much i have grown finally....bout time....God is teaching me several things....first is that i dont really know how to hear his voice like i thought i did....i desperetly need Guidance this year...there are so many things that are kinda important as far as my future is concerned....now dont get me wrong....i have had some of the best conversations in a long time with the Most High....i just desperatly do not want to stry from his plan for me right now...i have relied so much on what "i" think that i feel that i dont even really know what his voice sounds like...i know that God is so availible to be know to man...the real question is how badly we desire to know him.....the more i think about how i live...the more i think i dont truly know what silence is....i need to know silence better...i need to find that solitude and let God use that time and not fill my life with so much clutter....i feel like i can be so much more to everyone....i feel that i can show more Jesus than i do.....my heart goes out to the people of God.....for the ongoing struggle to save this world....but then i think that it isnt our job to save the world.....we are here to bring God glory.....being in a spiritual leadership position really puts my mind in perspective.....i need to be a man that can stir passion and desire to know God more in the hearts of the felas in my ALIVE group....i have been doing a lot of reading leately to better prepare myself for this and i am really getting excited about who God has created man to be.......i love knowing that i have an adventure ahead of me.....i love that there will be many battles.....some so hard that it seems that i may break.....some that i just crush........i love that there will be a bearuty that i must rescure.....i can't wait for that to happen...my ministy donw here this year is going amazing.....the kids are so freakin funny and they really are gettin it after 4 years....it has really brought passion back to my heart for yourth ministry.....but i think since this summer i feel that my heart just goesout to the church...i could be very happy serving in pretty much any aspect of ministry.....God has blessed me with so many phenominal role models.....as far as classes go i am killin em....so no worries there....work....beign an RA is a cush job....im diggin it....and as far as the love life goes....i need to make sure that i hear God's voirce before anything happens....
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| so after $79.31 in gas money, 3 Mt. Dews, 2 bags of sunflower seeds, and 548.82 miles i have finally made it back home to Indiana. this summer has taught me probably more about Jesus than any other time in my life. Spiritually i can say that i have never grow so much before. just by asking myself questions and trying to understand who God is and wanting to be his, my relationship has grown much stronger. its awesome and we server an incredible God.
joel's wedding is this saturday! and that will be a blast! it will be great to see those guys again before school starts.
sunday i will be able to go to one accord and worship with out the use of Kids songs. i can't wait.
Oswald was very good today. just because i can't summarize it well enough here it is.
Choosing to suffer means that there must be something wrong with you , but choosing God's will - even if it means you will suffer - is something very different. no normal, healthy saing ever chooses suffering; he simply chooses God's will just as Jesus did, whether it means sufferin or not. and no saint should ever dare to interfere wit the lesson of suffering being taught in another saint's life.
The siant who satisfies the heart of Jesus will make other saints strong and mature for God. But the people used to strengthen us are never those who sympathize with us; in fact we are hindered by those who give us their sympathy, because sympathy only server to weaken us. no one better understands a saint that the saint who is a s close and intimate with Jesus as possible. i we accept the sympathy of another saint, out spontaneous feeling is, "God is dealing too harshly with me and making my life too difficult." that is why Jsesus said that self pitty was of the devil (Matthew 16:21-23). we must be merciful to God's reputation. It is easy for us to tarnish God's character because He never argues back; He never tries to defend or vindicate Himself. beware of thinking that Jesus needed sympathy during His life on earth. He refused the sympathy of people because in His great wisdom He knew that no one on earth understood His purpose. He accepted only the sympathy of His Father and the angels (Luke 15:10).
Look at God's incredible wast of His saints, according to the world's judgment. God seems to plant His saints in the most useless places. and then we say. "God intends for me to be here because i am so useful to Him." yet Jesus never measured His life by how or where He was of the greatest use. God places His saints wherer they will bring the most glory to Him, and wer are totally incapable of judging where that may be.
a couple things i really get from that are:
1 suffering for God's sake is good
2 feeling sorry for yourself is wrong, and it is hard not to sympathize for other saints but maybe we should let God do his work in their lives as He sees fit.
3 we must be careful not to tarnish the name of Christ
4 it isn't about our usefullness as much as it is how much Christ is being glorified through us.
I missed Pizza King
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| i have bad guitar skillz.
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